Would life be better if we had a delete button?

You’re worthless… DELETE

You always fuck up… DELETE

Everything is your fault… DELETE

I wish you were dead… DELETE

I’m the only friend you should want… DELETE

I’m the best you’ll ever get… DELETE

How easy would that be? I have beat myself up for staying with him as long as I did, I was crazy scared. I was scared of failing; I was scared of not being enough. I’m still scared but I’m scared I will never get over the pain, hurt & utter heartache. Heartache, if you’ve been in an abusive relationship, you know the heartache that brings you to your knees. When you wish the earth would just swallow you. When you feel so alone, maybe your heart has disappeared.

…

My initial affair was my guiding light. That night made me more aware of my needs then I have been in my adult life. One of the last times we had sex alone I cried; I cried because there was no way I could convey the gratitude that came close to what my heart was feeling. He kissed away my tears & I think he got it.