Holy hell.. I can not believe it!!

So guess what?? I totally forgot today was the day I was dreading all week until I read my post from last week.. I can't believe I didn't think about him all day! Isn't it amazing what a hike, sometime outdoors & great company will do for a person?? AMAZING!

Here's a freaking great start to a new week!

XOXO

In too deep...

What do you do when you realize you are in deeper then the other person? Do you hold back with the hopes they will catch-up? Do you just let your feelings fly because why should you hold back?

It's been a year...

This week has been a tangle of emotions.. A year ago this coming Sunday; we meant. That crazy afternoon on the beach & in the sun. I never blogged about that meeting because my words could never do it justice. It was perfect. I keep thinking something would snap in my head & I would realize that perfect wasn't the case. But as hard as I try the word Perfect keeps coming back to me. He brought a picnic lunch that included Oreos & my favorite flower. We agreed not to have sex because we didn't want the pressure. I remember how his hands were shaking as he opened the beer. I remember that 1st kiss. I remember a single tear that fell from my cheek & how he kissed it away. I remember the 2nd kiss that lasted a little longer. The 3rd kiss... We looked at each other... His hands in my hair.. The sly smile he gave me & I was lost! We made love in the sun.. We both cried... & said this seems too good to be true that we found each other...

Fast forward a year.. He has a girlfriend & I have someone I'd like to call a boyfriend...

I miss him.. I miss his hands, his smile & his eyes. But I would I go back? I doubt it, after-all choices were made.  There has been a few close calls with him after dinner these past few months & while I would love to feel his body again; I know I deserve more. Something I should have said when he told about a date he had after our meeting... I deserved to be his everything. 

Don't make someone a priority when all you are is an option to them.. Lesson learned

I wonder if he still has the beach grass he grabbed as we walked back to the car?