Verbal abusive f**cking sucks hairy ape nuts

After being in a verbally abusive marriage for +15 years I have this bone deep need for someone to love me & feel valued. I think being aware of this is a huge step so I will keep myself in-check & not fall so hard so fast again!

What if I don't fall hard & I miss something?

No return text & guess what... I'm OK with it!

So this last weekend was a weekend we had planned weeks ago.. A mini-vacation with JO.. But since the break-up, which is that really the right word for a relationship that was mainly in my head? LOL! I went out of town anyhow & headed in a totally opposite direction!

I had a one-night-stand with a cute hippie & had a great night of very fun sex... I sent a text last night saying I had a great time & I didn't receive one back which I'm totally ok with! He served a purpose & my ribs still hurt from laughing.

On to bigger & better things!

Empty piece of my heart which is rapidly filling tears!

Well after 1 1/2 months of daily texting.. Nightly phone calls.. Amazing dates & unforgettable sex.. I called it off; I had to & it tore me to bites!

Every single relationship I've been, I have been in the passenger seat & this one was starting to feel all to familiar. I could tell in the last few days something had changed & something seemed off. I knew he was seeing someone else & while he kept telling me I was a priority in his life; I started questioning it.

So I got out & it fucking HURTS!

Lets hope for a minute my heart can not channel Houdini

Now, I have put a steel caged around my heart, because I can't take the risk of it getting away from me again!