It's been a year...

This week has been a tangle of emotions.. A year ago this coming Sunday; we meant. That crazy afternoon on the beach & in the sun. I never blogged about that meeting because my words could never do it justice. It was perfect. I keep thinking something would snap in my head & I would realize that perfect wasn't the case. But as hard as I try the word Perfect keeps coming back to me. He brought a picnic lunch that included Oreos & my favorite flower. We agreed not to have sex because we didn't want the pressure. I remember how his hands were shaking as he opened the beer. I remember that 1st kiss. I remember a single tear that fell from my cheek & how he kissed it away. I remember the 2nd kiss that lasted a little longer. The 3rd kiss... We looked at each other... His hands in my hair.. The sly smile he gave me & I was lost! We made love in the sun.. We both cried... & said this seems too good to be true that we found each other...

Fast forward a year.. He has a girlfriend & I have someone I'd like to call a boyfriend...

I miss him.. I miss his hands, his smile & his eyes. But I would I go back? I doubt it, after-all choices were made.  There has been a few close calls with him after dinner these past few months & while I would love to feel his body again; I know I deserve more. Something I should have said when he told about a date he had after our meeting... I deserved to be his everything. 

Don't make someone a priority when all you are is an option to them.. Lesson learned

I wonder if he still has the beach grass he grabbed as we walked back to the car?